Here in Australia it is Australia Day. Although this has become a politically charged holiday, it is a holiday none the less. Yay for a long weekend. Did any of you go away for a girls trip? I didn’t but I have a friend who has recently been off galivanting around the world. For some of my readers Europe isn’t so far, but for us here in Australia it is a massive journey to even get there, not to mention the expense, making it the trip of a lifetime. Jealousy, being what it is, was trying to tell me that I wished I was travelling with my friend. But would that really be wise?
First of all, my friend did several walking tours and hiking trips. Neither of which sound remotely interesting nor relaxing enough to qualify as a holiday activity for me personally. She clearly enjoys such things. That alone would make us incompatible travelling companions. Not to mention my favourite holiday is a cruise, when she hates boats and gets sea sick on the local ferry. Again, that doesn’t bode well.
But even if you have much more in common with your friends than I do with mine when it comes to these things, there is a lot that can come into play on a holiday which could make for sore expectations and ruin trips if not friendships. So these things shouldn’t be rushed into lightly as fun as the girls getaway appeals to us all.
If one of you goes to bed early, while the other wants to go out drinking and mingle with the locals, neither will have the holiday they hoped for. If one has a very restrictive diet or health condition that limits their activities while the other is very adventurous, one may feel it was a wasted trip. If one likes to get up early and hit the street markets while the other refuses to rise until noon, both will be cranky.
And these are things you may not even know about your friend, because you haven’t lived together. Maybe you have never really seen them under pressure, but they make the situation much worse when they blow up over a flight cancellation and you feel embarrassed and upset by their outburst. Or perhaps there is more room for miscommunication, each thinking the other had booked a hotel or activity then missing out.
It could be that your friend talks loudly on the phone to her family at home when you are trying to relax, and you prefer to text your family. Or it could be that you expected to travel together, but do your own things using the hotel as a base to connect at the end of each day and your friend imagined you’d do everything together, and won’t leave you alone.
There are just so many unknowns when it comes to travelling with friends, that it has the potential to really ruin your trip and your friendship if you haven’t chosen wisely. But that’s not to say it can’t work, it just means these things need to be discussed in advance.
If I travelled with my friend, she knows me well enough to know I would not be interested in a hike, as well as I know her well enough to understand a glass bottom boat tour is off the itinerary for her. I know she talks loudly on the phone to her family already because she does it here, and I wouldn’t expect that to change. I know she would want some solo time, whereas she knows I would feel much more comfortable in the hotel if I am alone than out exploring solo. But because we know these things, we know enough to know that travelling together probably doesn’t suit our dynamic. I know she gets angry when stressed so the plane ride would be unpleasant and she knows I would probably spend most of it in the bathroom anyway.
If you are planning a trip with your friends, I think it is wise to ask about their morning routines, to ask how much time they envision together and apart, and what kinds of activities you can both agree on without feeling short changed. Each describe your hopes and expectations of how the trip will go, how you will handle any bumps along the road. Discuss what kinds of foods you like to eat and bed times. Discuss what types of accommodations you like to stay in and what your budgets are. Discuss if there is any must do’s on your list or must not do’s. And make a plan for how you will communicate frustrations, when you can’t get space. You are essentially stuck together if things go sour, and nobody wants that.
Even when you have discussed it all, you will find differences. Perhaps they thought you would be ok with sharing a bed and you expected and hoped for twin beds. Or they hog the covers, or you like the air conditioner going and they don’t. So as much as it was fun to post the above meme about travelling with my husband and kids, they are probably the best people to travel with. Because we already know all these things from living together.
But hey, who would say no to a girls getaway in Europe, the reward may be worth the risk! And after the first time, you will learn all these things about your friends anyway, and have more information to choose if you travel together again in the future! If you’re still friends that is! Proceed with caution and eyes wide open! Information is important! Get as much as you can! Then have fun with your friend, travelling or not!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
