Well readers, as 2023 comes to a close, I can feel a sense of disappointment that my life didn’t change too much in the last 12 months. I can’t say I picked up any new hobbies, or even any new friends. I can’t say I achieved anything earth shattering or changed the world in big or small ways.
But I can say that I was a support person for my son as he embarked on his journey into adulthood in starting his first part time job. I can say that I helped him do his applications for further study paths next year into a field of his choosing. I can say I helped him study for his drivers test and washed his uniform and lovingly packed his dinner for him on nights when he would need to eat in the break room at work instead of with his family. I can say I drove him to work, and rearranged my schedule to be available, and when my husband wasn’t able, I went to pick him up. I can say that I waited up for him to come home to laugh about his shift and share his joys and worries. I can say I got him just the right gifts for Christmas and his birthday because I pay attention to the things he loves. I can say I welcomed his friends into our home and encouraged their friendships to stay strong. I can say I was there to hold his hand when he had a day surgery on his toenail that was incredibly hard to watch let alone feel. I can say he felt loved by me.
I can say I cheered on my daughter as she studied hard to achieve her goals of getting into accelerated learning. I can say I supported her through her first crush and shared her fears and anxieties and hopes and dreams. I can say I listened to her feedback that her Christmas presents last year were too childish for her about to be teenage self, and tried hard to think of things that would reflect what she loves and the stage of life she is in now. I can say that I kept up to date on the drama in her friendship circle but did not involve myself and still welcomed whoever she chose to invite into our home for sleepovers and girly giggle sessions. I can say I celebrated her awards and achievements and I was there to watch her proudly up on stage. I can say that I nailed her birthday present. I can say that I stock the fridge and freezer with her favourite treats and I let her paint her bedroom bright yellow because it made her happy. I can say I don’t fuss at her about the mess she makes everywhere, particularly her room, because my relationship with her is more important to me than a tidy room. I can say she felt loved by me.
I can say I helped my parents pack for their holiday, checked their mail and their place while they were away and I picked them up from the airport when they returned. I can say I took my husband to Costco for his birthday and fathers day because that is his favourite place to go. I can say that I tune in every Wednesday night to my friend’s radio show, and I give her feedback so that she knows I care enough to listen. I can say that I supported my other friend through her IVF journey, went to appointments and sat alone in waiting rooms for hours and held her hand when the results weren’t what she’d hoped. I can say that I babysat her cat when she went on holiday to get away from it all and I made her a playlist for her travels. I can say I babysat my friends kid when she was in a bind, even though it meant getting up at 3am that day. I can say that I was there for someone who got some really hard news, that I made the effort to consistently check in with her and just be an ear for a much needed vent and cry. I can say that I booked us into a spa she loves to try and help with the stress and I can say that we ate a bit more comfort food than usual because it is what she needed to do. I can say they felt loved by me.
The point of this post isn’t to brag about how awesome I am. The point of this post is to say that we often reflect back at the year passed in a negative context and highlight all the things we didn’t do or achieve, but the reason you maybe didn’t achieve the things you set out to do at the start of the year might be because you were busy loving and caring for the people that need you. The things you do for yourself matter, I am not trying to say that they don’t. If you did all of this and still achieved your goals and dreams then more power to you!
What I am saying is that ultimately people remember how you make them feel, more than what you loved, what you achieved or what you tried to do. So if all you can say for yourself this year is that you loved, that you were a good friend, a good person, then just know, that is more than enough. In the end it is who you loved and how you loved, not what you loved that matters.
If you are still single this year and you hoped not to be, but you had good friends and family around you, then please know that you are loved.
If you feel like you didn’t give enough love this year; that’s ok, there is always next year! We will talk friesolultuons next post!
❤ Love,
Your Best Friend ForNever
xx
