Just like any relationship, friendships are a balancing act. Give and take. Talking and listening. Fun times and serious ones. Finding time and making time. Reaching out and giving space. Growing close rather than being close.
Timing is crucial in this life, whether we like it or not. Sometimes, you meet the right people at the wrong times, and at other times you meet the wrong people at the right time. Both make beautiful disasters! Lol However the real magic begins when you meet the right people at the right time.
Sometimes we don’t realise we have met the right people at the wrong times, and they linger on the outer edges of our lives and our circles as friendly acquaintances. Unexpectedly one day, you might really connect, and grow a meaningful close friendship.
You may have guessed I am writing from experience here. Fairly recently, someone I had known from my years as a mother of toddlers called me out of the blue for a coffee. As timing would have it, fatefully, I happened to be walking right by the café she wanted to meet at that morning. I admit when I saw her number on the screen I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was happy all the same. It wasn’t the first intermittent catch up we had had over the years, and I had no expectation that this one would be any different. A friendly way to pass a mutually convenient morning.
What I can say, is that for the first time since we met, I walked away feeling like we had really connected. Like this person was suddenly my friend. And I was excited by that. Timing, conveniently, had placed our availability pretty mutually to allow for more catch ups in the months that followed and we relaxed into a happy supportive place. Although this was unexpected…. The timing in both our lives was right. I guess it never had been before.
As I had just embarked on this friendship journey at the time, I was very aware of trying to make this particular friendship with all the ingredients for a lifelong recipe. Only time will tell if I have gotten the measurements right, but for the first time I am being mindful of the time we spend together. We can and do talk about some pretty deep stuff when the times call for it. We talk about important boring stuff, health issues and share our joys and struggles around the “mum life.” We check in with each other after important occasions or happenings. We make time to go out for girls nights when the husbands take the kids, and times where we take the kids to hang out together. We can laugh, even in the moments of deep and dark conversations, and ask for fashion advice in the same conversations.
I am so grateful that this person called me for coffee that one fateful morning. She invited me into her life and into her heart that day and showed me that there are friends all around us waiting to sprout, under the right circumstances. There isn’t a thing about our friendship that I don’t cherish, it has actually really changed my life and the way I view friendships in a more rounded way. I love how welcomed I feel around this person, and how safe and cherished and cared for she makes me feel.
This is one friendship that truly feels balanced. It feels equal. It feels natural. It feels reciprocal. It feels wonderful, and fateful.
This post is for you. To thank you for coming into my life at the right time and staying to show me a good time, and that these things can coexist. Thank you for always finding time, making time, spending time and being there all of the time. (And for always stocking the things I like at your house. Maybe it is just a coincidence and we like the same things, lol, but I like to think of it as a gesture that I am welcome in your home and that you want to entice me there with food products. You know me well! Haha)
Your Best Friend ForNever